Level 8

thursday, april 16, 2009 - 7:54 p.m

Dear Papa Carl,

i saw your face today in a picture and i realized i havent talked to you in awhile. and i havent even taken the time to visit. ive just been so caught up in things that you wouldnt be proud of.

i remember when i used to talk to you all the time; every time i had a problem i would sit down and remember you and take a breath. and it would calm me, because it always felt like you were right there with me.

but i havent felt you with me in awhile. but thats my fault. because i forget to keep you alive.

its getting hard again papa. because so many things are changing and i dont know how to handle any of it. and your not here to protect me from the world anymore.

im graduating next month, and i have an extra ticket that was always supposed to be yours. and mam and dad arent together right now. and everythings falling apart. and im sorry for forgetting about you.

and that trees finally growing, its not tiny anymore. and the names are still carved in it. and that pizza place is gone. and they dont sell those ponies at vons anymore. and my favorite donuts are still the glazed ones. and im buying a fish for my birthday. and your room still looks the same.

ive been stressing pa. and i need your help again. please.

i love you.

Love, your eeka.

()