Level 16

friday, january 22, 2010 - 10:22 p.m

This probably wont make sense…

———————————————————

That feeling where your world just feels like it stopped and all of a sudden youve just been hit by a huge baseball bat and you’re flying about 5000 yards…and then you hit a brick wall…and splat.

———————————————————-

You know, you learn alot when you’re younger. You learn that not everything is always going to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. You learn that scraped knees hurt and you learn that no matter how much you repeat “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt”…that its a lie, words do hurt. And you learn that people can hurt you to; that they can disappoint you, and they can let you down. But then you learn “Are your friends going to be there when you need them the most? No, your family is.”

And thats where your learning stops. You dont question that statement. Because your family is supposed to be your go-to when your down, your number one support system.

———————————————————-

You taught me alot of things. You taught me how to ride a bike, you taught me how to feed starfish, you taught me how to ITS it, you taught me how to beat Tekken, and you taught me how to be angry, and you taught me how to punch holes in the wall…

But out of all of that you forgot something. You never mentioned that you were going to be my biggest disappointment. No, you never taught me that. I guess it must have slipped your mind.

In fact, you never taught me alot of things. You didnt teach me how to drive, you didnt teach me how to get over a “heartbreak,” you didnt teach me how to succeed at anything.

You didnt teach me any of that because you werent there.

And it seems like all you ever do is let me down. Because you dont support me…at anything. You dont support my decisions, you dont support what i want to do with my life…you didnt even support my first job. And its sad because i know that there was a time when you did support me, and you didnt let me down…but i dont remember that anymore.

And i still need to know…

Where are you?

()