Level 9

monday, may 25, 2009 - 12:58 a.m

“I say I love you
You say that’s kind
You don’t wanna get too close
You loved me crazy
I lost my mind

You’re everything I never wanted
And all the things I didn’t need

You don’t have to stay forever
I’ll take passion over pride

Tomorrow we’ll pick up the pieces
Try to mend our broken lives

And maybe I can learn to fall
For someone who can give me all
The things I”m not afraid to lose

Let’s make it a long goodbye”

my jealousy is a big thing.
because there are just some things i can’t let go of yet.

and what makes it worse is realizing that maybe this is it. it was never, and will never be, you. because its not supposed to be. but it hurts knowing that. but thats alright.

ive tried. really tried. but so far its all a fail. because the only thing that comes to mind is easy. and i let it happen. i know that word runs through your head and i still let it happen. because i care. alot. enough to let myself be put down like that. and thats wrong.

im at my worst when im around you. you frustrate me. you make me want to tear my hair out. you make me angry. you make me want to cry. you make me want to curse in every language. but when you can make me genuinely happy for even the tiniest second…thats all there is.

and i can go out and do the stupidest shit. and ill admit, some of that shit was because of you. but nothing changes. its doesnt matter how many others there are. or how many highs. it always comes down to you. youre always my square one.

and im an idiot most of the time. a young idiot. with a thousand more years to go. and i shouldnt be stressing over something like this. because really…a thousand more years and an after life? ive got time to stress.

but thats not enough to keep my thoughts from spinning. from thinking of you every time your damn name is brought up.

but your not worth it. running after all the time. waiting for. your not.

but that doesnt change anything.

because i like thinking that you are.

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